For years my mom was a daycare provider. I loved the babies that she took care of. Their very cuteness is what inspired me to want lots and lots of kids. When MB(monster boy) was born, he was the PERFECT baby. Well that is what I remember anyway (I know every parent thinks his/her child is perfect, but MB really was!). He actually didn’t grow horns and the third eye ball until he turned three when MG(monster girl) was born. MG’s horns on the other hand developed much earlier, probably around the time she began to walk and talk. I think its a ploy… the cuter the kids, the more devilish they are. Two strikes against me… my little ones have big blue eyes that make your heart melt. It’s hard to be mad at them when they are so darn cute! But… believe me that cuteness can only carry you so far. I had this great idea today to go to the grocery store. It was one of those days when you need absolutely EVERYTHING. I woke up early, took my shower, had my coupons ready and then went to battle getting the kids ready. I swear I asked MB at least 50,000 times to get dressed. He always has something he is doing. First he was watching cartoons, he had to gather 10 cars to go with him, he had to color Nae (my mom) a picture real quick. Are you flipping kidding me? Kid, I should not have to repeat myself (I love those parents who only have to ask once and there kid just does what they say… really???). Get your clothes on for goodness sakes!!!! An hour and a half later we were in the car, with 8 cars, 5 of MG’s snuggies (little blankets she carries everywhere, her bunny, a cup of milk, and a cup of juice. Crud.. where are my coupons and my grocery list, for that matter where is my purse?? Back inside I go. We finally make it to the grocery store, and make it almost through the entire store, but I see the wine isle and really have been craving just a little mommy juice. Up and down the isle I go, as both of my children’s arms are flailing and they are trying to touch every bottle they see. I can’t even concentrate to see what kind of wine I might want. Forget it! Here I am trying to push this basket that is filled to the brim, while entertaining two hungry kids. MG thinks she needs to have a taste of everything that goes into the basket. We had already opened a container of cookies, goldfish, and two lunchables. If she had it her way, I would have broke open the OJ and poured that into her sippy cup. I had one more stop…. Produce. MB decides he is going to get out of the basket to “help”. No son, touching, smelling, and tasting every produce item you see does not equate to helping. But thanks anyway. Needless to say, I finally made it home.
I absolutely could not wait until summer. I was feeling the teacher burn-out (all you teachers out there know what I mean). Summer was calling my name. Sleeping in, staying in my pajamas all day, eating when I wanted, coming and going as I pleased… wait a minute… I just remembered this must have been how summer was before the two little monsters that I call children were living in my house. We will call these two little monsters BM (Boy Monster) and GM (Girl Monster). My summer vacation now consists of the following… getting woke up every morning by BM who finds his way into my bed nightly. (I am not sure how many times I wake up in the middle of the night due to the aching pain that is pulsating through my arm because of the 80lb head that thinks my arm is his pillow.) BM: I want chocolate milk. I want strawberries. I want cartoons. ME: Really, because I would like to sleep 10 minutes longer, but that is not going to happen because your whining is the equavalent to my flipping alarm clock. I groggily get up, get BM his chocolate milk, strawberries, and Scooby Do, settle back into my pillow, close my eyes, and fall asleep. What seems like 5 min later (although I know it has to be longer, because Scooby is at least 30 minutes… right?) BM: Mom…… MoM…… MOM ME: What Baby? I need more chocolate milk and a new cartoon. Oh, well… I will get up now. I will find my coffee and maybe, just maybe get to have half the cup in peace. I get three sips of my coffee before I am running upstairs to get GM out of bed. I walk in the room and find her sitting towards the back of the crib, blanket on her lap, looking all cute and innocent. But the smell, that is radiating through the room is not innocent at all. I turn on the light and what do I see… diaper on the floor. ME: GM what is that. GM: I dknow… (She is 2 and just starting to talk… a lot!) ME: Did you poop? GM: No… ME: Uh-huh I think you did….. I proceed to remove her blanket, picked her up and realize that she has painted herself, the crib, the wall, her sheets, her blanket, her 5,000 snuggies, her pillow, her bunny… you get the point. Well so much for enjoying my coffee…. The day proceeds in this way.. mismatch after mismatch, breaking up fights, cooking, cleaning up, cooking, cleaning up, etc. I have now found myself counting down the minutes until my knight in shining armor… (aka… Hubby) comes home. I need a break. Wait a minute.. isn’t this suppose to be my break. My summer vacation. I think I need to go back to work… that I have decided is my real vacation.